The Crown Jewel
by The Purple Wind
Summary: A Sarasalanian coup sparks an international incident and sends Luigi on the adventure of a lifetime. Reviews are much appreciated. Chapter 5 is now up.
1. Chapter One: A Foreign Affair

The Crown Jewel

A Sarasalanian coup sparks an international incident and sends Luigi on the adventure of a lifetime

By The Purple Wind

Chapter One: A Foreign Affair

_Pipe House, Mushroom Kingdom_

"Stupid Mario!" Luigi grumbled, alternately flipping through TV channels and spooning mouthfuls of fruit parfait into his mouth. He could barely taste what was normally one of his favorite treats because the day's events had left a very bad taste in his mouth. "He always gets to go on fun adventures, and I'm always left behind to tape his stupid TV shows!"

Mario had recently received a letter from Princess Peach asking him to go on an all-expense-paid cruise with her, or something like that. Luigi didn't care. All Luigi cared about was that Mario got to go on an adventure _again_, and that he, Luigi, got left behind _again_. Was Luigi invited to go on this treasure hunt with the princess and his brother? No. Of course not. No one ever invited Luigi, and it wasn't that Mario and Peach were cruel or didn't care about Luigi; they were simply oblivious to how he felt. In their eyes, Luigi barely existed.

He still hadn't forgotten about the time when Bowser stole the almighty Star Rod and, when Luigi asked if he could help Mario retrieve it, Mario stared at him, shook his head, and said, "No!" with a smile on his face. Or the time Peach took Mario on vacation to Isle Delfino and left him behind yet again. Luigi didn't really mind not going there specifically; he had never been fond of tropical "paradises", favoring instead a more temperate climate. The thing that really upset Luigi was the fact that he was never invited. Mario told Luigi he was going on a luxury vacation, packed his bags, and left Luigi alone in the Pipe House for a month. It was a consolation, then, to hear that Mario had been arrested by the local police and attacked by Bowser on his vacation. Misery does indeed love company.

Luigi was about to duck into the secret basement under the Pipe House to write down a stream of angry vitriol against Mario in his diary when one of his favorite TV shows, _Cops_, started playing. From the TV issued the theme song:

"Bad 'Shrooms, bad 'Shrooms, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

Luigi began to relax a little and sank deeper into the cushions of the couch, propped his feet up on the coffee table, and balanced the half-empty bowl of parfait on his knees. He was mentally projecting Mario's head upon the body of the drunken, shirtless Toad who was being wrestled to the ground by two Koopa patrol officers when he was aroused by the familiar "Mail call!" that indicated the arrival of the Mario Brothers' mailman and longtime friend, Parakarry.

"Heya, Parakarry, how're you doing?" Luigi asked, stepping onto the porch of the Pipe House to greet the mail-carrying Paratroopa who was hovering a few feet above the mailbox. The overcast sky was a uniform shade of steel-gray for as far as Luigi could see, ensuring that the outside was scarcely brighter than the inside. Parakarry, leather flight goggles over his eyes and a matching satchel over his pale blue shell, did not return Luigi's smile. Instead, he handed Luigi a slightly crumpled envelope whose address had been written rather sloppily. It looked to Luigi like the author was either a five-year-old or in a real hurry.

"What's this?" Luigi asked.

"Check out the return address," said Parakarry, still grim faced. "I didn't open it, of course, but I couldn't help noticing who sent it. That isn't normal diplomatic procedure, is it?"

Parakarry was referring to the look of shock on Luigi's face that appeared as he read the writing on the envelope. First of all, it was not addressed to Mario but to Luigi himself, which rarely happened; most letters that reached the Pipe House were addressed to either Mario or both of the brothers, but never to just Luigi. Second, and most baffling of all, was the return address: Dominic Fonté, Sarasalanian Foreign Minister.

_The Foreign Minister of_ _Sarasaland?!_ Luigi thought to himself. _What in the world would he want with me?_

Sarasaland was a kingdom due west from the Mushroom Kingdom run by Princess Peach's younger sister, Daisy. Sarasaland was much smaller than the Mushroom Kingdom, but since the Mushroom Kingdom was the largest political entity on the planet of Plit, saying so meant very little. Unlike the Mushroom Kingdom, where the monarch was more of a figurehead and the chancellor held most of the political power, the monarch of Sarasaland exercised much more power. Roughly forty years ago, King Gerlude split Sarasaland into four provinces, each with their own royal governor but all still subordinate to the king: Birabuto was the largest and the location of the royal palace. Muda contained most of Sarasaland's industry. Easton covered the eastern coast of Sarasaland and the backbone of the Sarasalanian economy, the Port of Easton. Chai was a relatively unpopulated area of mostly wilderness. Culturally, Sarasaland was very similar to the Mushroom Kingdom, save for the pronounced lack of Koopas, most of whom were driven out of the land in the 1880s after nearly 300 years of ruling the kingdom.

"So, what's it say?" Parakarry asked anxiously, leaning over Luigi's shoulder. The green-clad plumber slit open the envelope and extracted a crumpled, slightly torn piece of paper on which a short message was scrawled in the same messy handwriting that appeared on the envelope. Luigi began to read, noting the spelling mistakes indicative of a rushed job:

"**Mr. Luigi Mario,**

**I write to you in utter despertion. A radical splinter cell called The New Crown of Sarasaland has raided the royal palace and siezed Princess Daisy. Your presense, Mr. Luigi, is desperately needed. Secretary of War Starx and I were barely able to escape the palace with our lives. I have arranged to have privat jet meet you at the Toad Town Airstrip and escort you to the Birabuto International Airport. I shal meet you there at hanger G17 at 6:30 when you are scheduled to arrive and explain the details. Please hurry. I fear that if these extremists are allowed to take over the goverment, they will tear apart the system we have worked so hard to protect. **

**-Dominic Fonté, Sarasaland Foreign Minister" **

*****

_Royal Palace, Birabuto, Sarasaland_

Foreign Minister Dominic Fonté, a short, mustachioed, green-spotted Toad sat at a small conference table with the stocky, bearded, blue-shelled Secretary of War Alexander Starx and the tall, brunette Princess Daisy. Four Super Scope-toting royal guards stood sentry at the entrance, gazing upon the three officials' grim countenances. Their faces were masked by the beams of multicolored light that shone through the ornate stained-glass windows depicting the previous rulers of Sarasaland.

"The New Crown of Sarasaland is simply too dangerous to be allowed to continue to operate," exclaimed Starx, banging his fist on the mahogany table. Daisy and Fonté winced as Starx, gesticulating wildly, knocked over his water glass, but the Koopa seemed not to notice. "The military must be allowed to root out The New Crown wherever they may be and lock them up forever!"

"Normally," Fonté began, "I don't approve of using military force to solve our problems. In this case, however, I feel that it is the only viable course of action. If The New Crown is able to wrest control of the government from you, Princess, we may very well lose our trade agreements with the Mushroom Kingdom, which would cripple our economy. I very much doubt Princess Peach will wish to do business with the ones who deposed her sister."

"Agreed, gentlemen. I wi-"

Before Daisy could complete her sentence, however, the door to the throne room was kicked open and eight people armed with Super Scopes and wearing small, golden, crown-shaped pins on their shirts poured in. The royal guards leapt backwards, brought the Super Scopes up to their shoulders and pressed down the triggers as the unwelcome visitors did the same. The firefight lasted only about ten seconds, by which time all four of the royal guards and five of the New Crown radicals lay dead on the floor. The remaining three, a Yoshi, a Goomba, and a Fighter Fly, ran towards the three government officials at the conference table. The orange Yoshi brought his rifle down hard on the head of Princess Daisy, who collapsed onto the red carpet, bleeding copiously from the forehead. The Goomba ran at Starx, who produced from his shell a small dagger with a bright pink, two-and-a-half inch blade made purely of plasma that he rammed through the stout body of the Goomba. The Goomba's eyes widened as much as was possible for a Goomba as he fell to the floor, dead.

"C'mon, let's get out of here!" Fonté yelled to Starx as the Yoshi hoisted the limp body of Daisy onto his back and scampered from the throne room with the Fly. "The castle has undoubtedly been overrun! We must leave immediately!"

"The ventilation system leads directly from here to the rear courtyard; we should be able to escape that way," Starx replied, pointing to a vent on the wall behind the throne room. He and Fonté hopped up into the vents and began their long, arduous trek through the ducts. When they finally emerged at the back of the castle, they saw that the castle was indeed under siege. Pulses of energy from Super Scopes flew back and forth as The New Crown of Sarasaland attempted to rid the castle of the royal guards. Those who had gotten closest to the castle were now engaged in violent knife fights, using the same type of energy-based dagger that Starx had wielded earlier.

"How," Fonté asked, "did those eight manage to make their way to the throne room when this melee was going on outside?"

"I would imagine," Starx replied, "that the invasion of the throne room was what started the battle in the first place. We did not hear any signs of battle until they entered, so it seems that they were somehow able to sneak inside and had the full-scale assault timed so that the royal guards would be diverted and not be able to send a full force into the throne room. Quite an effective strategy; the New Crown is not to be trifled with."

Fonté and Starx dashed unnoticed around the fracas and into the capital city of Sarasaland, Biratown. Most of the buildings had been boarded up and the usually busy streets were empty. The only business that was still open was the post office. _Good old mail carriers,_ Fonté thought. _These guys are braver than any soldier in our army._ The two burst into the post office only to have two Ray Guns jabbed into their stomachs.

"Minister Fonté! Secretary Starx! You're alive! But…what happened to Princess Daisy?" The Toads standing guard withdrew their guns from the chests of the two officials.

"Kidnapped by The New Crown, I'm afraid," Fonté said grimly. "However, it is fortunate that the post office remains open, for there is someone whom I believe can help us out. Someone hand me a pen and paper and an envelope." Fonté quickly scribbled a short message onto the piece of paper and stuffed it roughly into the envelope. "Send this off as soon as possible," he told the Lakitu behind the counter, handing him the letter. "Alex, it is too dangerous to remain here. I must make a quick call to the Toad Town Airstrip, and then we need to get to Birabuto International."

"May I ask, Dominic, what your plan is?" Starx inquired.

"I shall explain along the way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make that call."

_That Fonté,_ Starx thought as the minister dialed the phone on the post office desk. _He barely knows how to fire a gun, but he can calculate ways to avoid an international incident in seconds. _

Fonté hang up the phone, beckoned to Starx, and the two dashed out of the post office and towards the airport that lay just a few miles ahead.


	2. Chapter Two: Revolutionary Fallout

Chapter Two: Revolutionary Fallout

_MSS Toadstool, Sea of Easton_

The gentle waves of the Sea of Easton slapped the side of the _Toadstool_, gently rocking the cruise ship as it headed towards the Port of Easton. In the cabin, a blue-spotted Toad wearing a captain's hat was leaning back in his chair with a magazine, looking up periodically to make sure the boat was still on course. On the large deck of the ship, Mario and Toad were playing a doubles tennis match against Peach and Toadsworth, who finally collapsed to the wooden floor of the deck after twenty minutes of huffing and puffing.

"Princess…" Toadsworth gasped. "I…si-simply cannot…continue! These old bones of mine…they can't move…like they used to!"

Peach chuckled and helped her elderly caretaker to his feet. "Well, I suppose we could take a break. Mario, would you please hand me a soda?"

Mario pulled a Super Soda from the large cooler on the deck and tossed it to Peach. He then walked onto the bridge of the ship and asked the captain, Bo T.,

"Hey Bo! How much longer 'till we reach the port?"

The Toad captain swiveled his chair around, smiled, and pointed straight ahead, "See for yourself."

Mario could see the faint outline of the bustling port town Easton for which the province was named growing clearer and larger by the second. Mario stepped down onto the deck of the _Toadstool_ and alerted the passengers that since they were about fifteen minutes from the Port of Easton, they should probably start gathering their things together.

"I assume that Daisy will meet us when we dock, Peach?" Mario asked the Princess.

"No, actually," she replied. "I sent a message to my sister forewarning her of our arrival, but she hasn't responded; my letter was probably lost in the mail. No matter, we can simply take a commuter flight to Birabuto and be at the palace in a few hours."

The _Toadstool_ pulled into the port and the crew disembarked, Mario and Peach in the lead. When they stepped onto the stone ground of the port, they were greeted by a gruff Fighter Fly with a clipboard in his hand, a Ray Gun on his belt, and a gold, crown-shaped pin on his chest.

"_MSS Toadstool_, eh?" the customs official began. "There's no ship under that name scheduled to arrive. Do you have a permit to dock?"

"A permit?" Mario asked. "Since when do we need a permit? Besides, we're friends and of Princess Daisy."

The Fly smirked. "Well, Daisy doesn't make the rules around here anymore. As of 9:30 this morning, the whole nation's under the jurisdiction of The New Crown of Sarasaland."

"The New Crown of-what?" Peach was furious. "Where's Daisy?! What happened to her?!"

"Sorry, missy, but you're dear sister has been deposed. She's been oppressing the people of Sarasaland for too long, and now she's got what she deserved."

Mario scowled. "You're nuts! Daisy would never oppress anyone! Now get out of our way!"

Mario shoved the Fly to the ground and stomped ahead. The Fly dusted himself of and pointed his gun at Mario's head.

"You, sir, are under arrest for disorderly conduct! Take him!" he shouted to the other customs officials at the dock. Mario reacted instantly, slamming his white-gloved fist into the stomach of the Fighter Fly, who dropped the Ray Gun and clutched his abdomen in agony. Toadsworth quickly pulled his charge out of harms way behind a stack of shipping crates as the Toads lunged, fists flying, at the dockworkers. Mario used the spongy head of a Goomba to propel himself high into the air, launching fiery orbs from his hand that exploded on the ground like miniature Bob-Ombs as he soared. As the plumber was descending, however, a cyan Yoshi thrust his Super Scope up into the air, jabbing him hard in the stomach. Mario's face smashed into the unforgiving stone dock, causing blood to spray everywhere upon impact. The barely-conscious plumber felt a heavy boot pressing down on his back and his arms being wrenched backwards and handcuffed together. The Fly whom he had punched not ninety seconds ago hoisted him up to his feet. Though he was dazed and his vision was obscured by the blood pouring from the wound on his forehead, Mario could see Peach, Toadsworth, and the rest of the Toads being taken into custody. Bo T. was either unconscious or dead. As he was being dragged away, the pain finally overcame Mario, and he fainted in the arms of the Fly.

~*~*~*~

_Castle Koopa, Dark Land_

Forked bolts of lightning tore through the perpetually dark sky of the aptly named Dark Land. The massive Castle Koopa stood on a high cliff, looming over the boiling lava pits below. In the castle's throne room, King Bowser, an enormous Koopa with a spiked shell and fiery red hair, was discussing the naming of the newest addition to his Doomship armada with Kamek, a blue-robed Magikoopa and Bowser's right hand man.

"I'm thinking that we call it the _Bowser_ and that we install a giant gold model of my head on the bow!" Bowser said excitedly.

"How utterly narcissistic." Kamek responded dryly. Such a comment would normally have earned the head Magikoopa a painful backhand from the King of Koopas, but Bowser was so excited by the construction of his new flagship that he waved it off.

"Kamek, it is only fitting that the biggest, baddest, and most powerful ship on the planet should be named after the biggest, baddest, and most powerful guy on Plit! Besides, you're just jealous. I'll tell you what: we'll name the next Doomship the _Kamek_ in your honor."

"I can assure you, Your Majesty, that I have no such wish."

Before Bowser could respond, a squat Goomba burst into the throne room and dashed up to Bowser's seat of power.

"Lord Bowser, sir!" the Goomba spluttered. "Important news from Sarasaland! Mario and Princess Peach have been arrested!"

"Mario's been arrested?" Bowser said gleefully. "Great! That'll make it so much easier to capture Peach!"

"He said that the Princess was arrested as well, Sire," Kamek cut in. "What were they arrested for?"

"I'm sorry, we don't have that information yet," the Goomba squeaked. "All we know is that they were taken into custody when they docked at the Port of Easton."

Bowser's glee instantly turned to rage. "WHAT!!!??? No one and I mean NO ONE captures _my_ Princess! This means war! You there!" he pointed to a Hammer Bro. who was standing guard at the door and watching the spectacle. "Tell General Thorn to prepare my new flagship for a trip to Easton _on the double!_" The Hammer Bro. saluted quickly and ran out the door to alert Thorn, the man in charge of Bowser's fleet of Doomships.

"Sire, think twice before you act," Kamek warned. "Breaking Peach out of a Sarasalanian jail and bringing her here will incur the wrath of both the Mushroom and Sarasaland armies."

Bowser merely snorted, "Who cares? The Sarasalanian Army is pathetic, and my army is much more powerful than the Mushroom Army. Besides, Princess Peach is at stake here! No, shut up, Kamek!" Bowser silenced Kamek as he began to open his mouth. "Follow me."

Kamek sighed and reluctantly followed Bowser. _One of these days,_ he thought, _he'll learn that he must use his brain rather than brawn to get ahead. I can only hope that his impulsiveness does not ruin the Koopa Kingdom first_.

~*~*~*~

_Toad Town Airstrip, Mushroom Kingdom_

Luigi ran as fast as possible towards the Sarasalanian jet that was parked on runway 6-B awaiting his arrival. As soon as he read Fonté's letter, he stuffed a few Mushrooms into his satchel and hurried out to the airstrip. The term "airstrip" may have been appropriate when it was first constructed forty years ago, but the airplane hub of the Mushroom Kingdom's capital city was more an international airport than a small airstrip. Boasting twelve runways and just as many hangars, the Toad Town Airstrip sent thousands of passengers into the air every day. The sleek Mushroom airplanes could accommodate about sixty passengers each. Multiply that by about thirty airplanes coming and going every hour all day long and you have the average number of people passing through the airport per day. On this day, however, the lines at the Toad Town Airstrip were much longer than normal because runway 6-B was temporarily closed. The agitated people awaiting their flights were told that it was closed for "reasons pertaining to international diplomacy", but no more than that.

As Luigi bounded into the small, private jet, he was greeted by the pilot, a Lakitu with an aquamarine tuft of hair on his head and a matching shell on his back.

"Ah, you have arrived, Mr. Luigi. Excellent! We shall take off immediately so as not to burden the people waiting for this runway to reopen any longer." The Lakitu picked up his radio and said, "Control, this is Sarasaland 201, we're ready to take off; you can now reopen runway 6-B."

"Copy that, Sarasaland 201. Safe flight," the crackled voice on the radio responded. The Lakitu thanked the control operator as he began to accelerate down the runway. Luigi, out of breath, sank into the chair next to him in the cabin.

"Allow me to introduce myself," said the pilot as the plane lifted off the tarmac. "My name is Lakilek, but plain old 'Laki' is fine. I've been a pilot for Sarasaland Air for about fifteen years now."

"Pleased to meet you," said Luigi. His head bursting with questions, Luigi asked immediately, "What on Plit is going on? I got a letter from Fonté saying that the castle had been attacked by The Sarasaland Crown or something like that and that he and some other guy named Starx were on the run and that I needed to meet him at hangar G17 at 6:30."

"Minister Fonté," began Laki, "was undoubtedly in a rush when he wrote you that letter and thus left out many details. I, however, have learned much from listening to my radio about the current situation, and I believe I can fill in some of those gaps.

"A few hours ago, Fonté placed a call in which he instructed me to fly to Toad Town to pick up you, Luigi. Why you in particular, Luigi, I cannot say. I daresay he will explain that to you when you meet him. Now, from what I understand, the royal palace has been raided and Princess Daisy has been kidnapped by The New Crown of Sarasaland. The New Crown is a radical group that wishes to dismantle the Sarasalanian government because they feel oppressed by the current establishment."

"Daisy _does not_ oppress her people!" Luigi exclaimed angrily.

"I'm not saying I agree; that's just what The New Crown thinks," said Laki. "But anyway, The New Crown is based mainly in Easton. Most of its members are disgruntled dock workers. Earlier this morning, members of The New Crown basically declared war on Sarasaland. They besieged the royal palace and took control of the Port of Easton, and pretty much the whole province of Easton for that matter."

"How on Plit did these guys get the armaments necessary to overtake the royal palace?"

"Now that is a real mystery. Most of these folks are poor dockworkers. They certainly wouldn't have enough money to fund such an operation themselves. It would appear that someone much richer is subsidizing them, but I cannot say who."

"And who's their leader?"

"A Koopa named Das, I think. I don't know very much about him."

Luigi and Laki continued to discuss the turmoil in Sarasaland for the next few hours. When they were about twenty minutes from Birabuto International and flying above Easton, Laki said to Luigi,

"You'd better arm yourself; Birabuto International will likely be a hot spot in this war. You'll find some weapons and ammunition in the back. By the way," Laki asked Luigi as he was stuffing his satchel with Bob-Ombs and extra battery packs for his Super Scope, "I am very interested in that satchel you've got. I've heard it's not your everyday carrying case."

"Ah," said Luigi, looking upon his bag fondly. "This happens to be my most prized possession. While I was adventuring in the Waffle Kingdom, a friendly Shaman cast the most interesting enchantment on this satchel. Thanks to his handiwork, it is absolutely, 100% bottomless! There's no end to the amount of stuff I can fit in here! And to think, Mario's Strange Sack can only hold twenty items!"

Laki chuckled appreciatively. "That'll certainly come in handy. Ah, I can see the runway from here. It appears that a portion of the Sarasalanian Army has been dispatched to the airport. A prudent move, though I fear it may be indicative of an impending firefight. I shall accompany you to meet Fonté. Are you ready to go, Luigi?"

Luigi's insides squirmed uncomfortably as the plane touched down and skidded across the tarmac. He tried to swallow his fear as he stepped out into the fading light of the evening. The New Crown was waiting for him.


	3. Chapter Three: The Battle of Birabuto

_Birabuto International Airport, Birabuto, Sarasaland_

As soon as Luigi set foot on the tarmac to meet Fonté and Starx, his ears were assaulted by a cacophony of noise that came from behind. Luigi whipped around to see a few hundred New Crown soldiers charging at them. It was then that Luigi realized that The New Crown of Sarasaland was no extremist faction; it was an army, a real army. In a display of athleticism that would have put even his brother to shame, Luigi side-flipped to avoid the incoming fire while simultaneously firing his own weapon at the approaching force. Several of them fell as Fonté took cover in the hangar in which he and Luigi were supposed to meet, and Starx began to bark orders at the soldiers.

"Take cover, men! Hold them back! Don't let them get past that runway!"

It was curious that all of the anxiety that Luigi felt not thirty seconds before had suddenly vanished. He was always apprehensive about impending danger, but once he actually faced the danger, his fear evaporated and he became a cool, levelheaded fighter. It was the anticipation of the fight rather than the fight itself that scared Luigi.

Luigi ran back into the jet he had just exited and smashed out one of the windows by a row of seats with the butt of his rifle. The small hole in the plane gave Luigi enough room to see and shoot out of while still providing adequate cover. Luigi aimed his Super Scope at the advancing Crowns and held down the trigger, inserting a new battery pack after every 48 shots, the maximum amount of energy each pack afforded. Laki floated into the cockpit of the plane and quickly fired up the engine.

It took the large passenger planes that regularly visited the Toad Town Airstrip a while to accelerate, but Laki's small plane just exceeded 100 miles per hour in the blink of an eye. Laki wrenched the plane's wheel to the left in the direction of The New Crown's onslaught and, before Luigi could question the Lakitu's sanity, he plowed right through the hangar that the Crowns were pouring out of. Large chunks of metal flew everywhere as the jet taxied its way through the hangar, but the plane remained intact; it was tougher than it appeared. Much of the invading force quickly dispersed when they saw the oncoming plane but, since none of them could run at 150 miles per hour, they became organic speed bumps for Laki's jet. Unfortunately for Luigi and Laki, however, The New Crown army was not without Bill Blasters. A rocket impacted on the left rear side of the plane, causing a spectacular explosion that engulfed the jet in flames. Luigi was launched all the way from the window he had broken earlier to the cockpit, where his left arm collided painfully with the dashboard. Laki, who was floating and thus was not flung anywhere, helped Luigi to his feet. The two quickly ran out of the plane as the rear half of the fuselage collapsed and the rest of the aircraft caught fire.

"Damn, I liked that plane!" Laki snarled as he and Luigi ran backwards, spraying energy pulses at the area where the plane had come to rest. Despite losing the airplane, Laki's stunt tipped the battle in the favor of the Sarasalanian Army. The New Crown forces, distracted by Laki's jet, were decimated by the ground troops and the gunners who had situated themselves in the control tower and the terminals. When the Sarasalanian soldiers realized that their enemy had completely dispersed, they let out a great cheer.

"Excellent work, men!" Starx yelled with a savage sort of pride. Luigi looked at the field of battle and noted that despite only lasting ten or so minutes, the battle had resulted in a heavy death toll, one much heavier on The New Crown's side than on the Sarasalanian side. The soldiers began examining the dead of their ranks to take stock of what the death toll was. Luigi did not envy their position.

"L-Luigi," Fonté stuttered, his normally neat mustache now a complete mess. "I am glad that you were able to come, but I wish that the circum-"

"And thank _you_, sir," Starx interrupted, addressing Laki, "for that kamikaze plane run. Saved our butts, you did.

"Er…yes. As I was saying, Luigi, I regret that you were welcomed by such a violent display, but I am glad that you came nonetheless. Now, we have much to discuss, so I suggest we begin immediately. You see, The New Crown of Sarasaland, which is a-"

"Excuse me, Minister, but Laki here has already explained much of the current situation to me," Luigi cut in. Fonté looked mildly impressed.

"Indeed? Well, that makes things simpler then. What, then, do you still wish to know?"

"Well, minister, I wonder how they were able to get enough resources for such an uprising."

"That, Luigi is the million-Coin question, no pun intended. I have absolutely no idea. I didn't even know they had such considerable resources until their ambush of the royal palace earlier this morning."

"And what about Daisy? Is she OK?"

"Regrettably, I must yet again admit that I have no idea. Daisy was snatched from her very own throne room this morning by an orange Yoshi, and that is the extent of my knowledge.

"What can you tell me about the Crown's leader?"

"Kooper T. Das is-or, rather, used to be-the head of a shipping company called Ocean Breeze Shipping, Inc. that operated in Easton. His company was shut down by the governor of Easton, Gloomber, when it was discovered that Das was forcing other shipping companies out of business so that he could monopolize the port. Ever since, he's been accusing the Sarasalanian government of abusing their power and oppressing the working class folks. He claims that Princess Daisy has no regard for the blue-collar workers of her kingdom, which is absolutely untrue-the Princess holds the entire workforce of Sarasaland in the same high esteem. He managed to gather together a whole army of similarly disgruntled workers to resist our government."

"But if so many people agree with Das, mustn't there be some truth to their allegations?" Laki asked.

"Absolutely not!" Fonté responded angrily. "Das has collected a group of dockworkers who believe that they have a Star Spirit-given right to amass huge fortunes, even if it means cheating other folks out of their money. He claims to represent the working class, but he really wishes to cheat the working class!"

"Hold on, Fonté. Laki has a point; Das has a veritable army that he could not possible have created if his words were untrue," Luigi reasoned.

"W-What? No!" Fonté spluttered, clearly on the defensive now. "I simply cannot believe what that rabble rouser is saying! Princess Daisy is a good, kindhearted ruler who would never-"

"No one," Starx interrupted, "is assailing the Princess' morality. There may, however, be more to this story than we know. We should not cloud our judgment with preconceived notions about others' characters."

Luigi stepped in as Fonté stood in stunned silence, trying to compose an adequate comeback. "This argument is getting us nowhere. In this situation, we ought to be figuring out where Daisy is being held, not grappling with murky issues of ethics. Minister Fonté, what do you suggest our next move should be?"

"Well," Fonté replied, regaining his brisk, diplomatic tone in a heartbeat. "In light of these most recent events, I feel that it is too dangerous to remain here. Besides, several government officials who survived the assault on the royal palace have fled to the Mushroom Kingdom. The Secretary of the Treasury was among this group, someone whom I believe will be invaluable to our mission. He may be able to work in tandem with the Mushroom Treasurer to determine the origin of The New Crown's subsidies. Understanding who supplied The New Crown will, I think, allow us to estimate what resources they have at their disposal. Time is of the essence, so I believe we should head out as soon as possible."


	4. Chapter Four: Prison Meals

Chapter Four: Prison Meals and Backroom Deals

_Royal Palace, Birabuto, Sarasaland_

Kooper Das did not look like a typical revolutionary. He was not a stony-faced idealist who whipped crowds into a violent frenzy with fiery rhetoric. Das was a soft-spoken Koopa with a kind, gentle smile that was surrounded by a neatly trimmed toilet-seat beard. The deep violet hue of his shell was offset by the pale blue color of his large, round eyes. Das was relatively short and had a rather slender build; his body lacked the tough, muscular frame normally associated with a soldier. Nevertheless, he was a born leader. He kept a level head in a crisis, but more importantly, people simply like him. His affable manner endeared him to almost everyone, including his subordinates.

As he paced the floor of the throne room in the royal palace, Das's footsteps were made inaudible by the thick, plush, ruby-red carpet that blanketed the floor. He looked around at the brilliant stained glass windows through which the bright mid-afternoon sun was shining and the fancy golden wall carvings that decorated the opulent hall, thinking, _the first thing I shall do tomorrow is have all of these ornamental luxuries stripped from the hall. The government should use its resources to help its citizens, not buy fancy trinkets for its leaders. This very hall is the embodiment of the corruption and self-indulgence that has plagued our government in these past few years. _

"Mr. Das! Sir, we have captured him!" Das was pulled from his thoughts by the arrival of a Fink Flower dragging a Gloomba whose legs were chained together. The Flower, whose head was surrounded by large, bright orange petals, thrust his prisoner forward. The Gloomba's dark blue complexion, beady eyes, and pointed teeth that were much larger than those of a normal Goomba were a stark contrast to the soft features of Das. Upon seeing the Gloomba, Das's face hardened and his pulse quickened, a strange mixture of anger and anxiety bubbling in his stomach.

"Thank you, Lieutenant, excellent work. Now, kindly excuse us; I think a private meeting is in order." The Fink Flower nodded nervously and scurried out of the room, not wishing to bear witness to the fireworks that would undoubtedly erupt as the two bitter enemies met for the fist time in years.

"Governor Gloomber," Das hissed, every syllable dripping in venom. "We finally meet again, I see."

"Your reign shall be short-lived, Das," Gloomber said evenly, a nasty smirk spreading slowly across his face. "The Sarasalanian Army will do to you the exact same thing I did to Ocean Breeze Shipping. Criminals like you never last long on the top."

"I am no criminal and you know it, Gloomber! I intend to stay in power for as long as needed to reform our corrupt government. I shall dismantle this wretched establishment and replace it with one of fairness and equality, and you, Gloomber, shall be the first to fall!"

Gloomber, still smirking, merely replied, "Good luck selling that to the Mushroomers."

Das froze. He had been so caught up in his rebellion that he had not once stopped to consider the possible ramifications. The Mushroom Kingdom would certainly not support his removal of Princess Daisy, now matter how noble the cause. They would either cut off all trade with Sarasaland, ruining its economy, or, worse yet, declare war on Sarasaland. The New Crown was not quite evenly matched with the Sarasalanian Army, and it was no match for the mighty Mushroom Army.

Das, his nerves thoroughly rattled, called for one of the guards standing outside the throne room to escort Gloomber to the palace's dungeons. As he was led out by the Yoshi who answered the call, Gloomber retained that awful smirk, an image that would be etched into Das's memory for the rest of his life.

~*~*~*~

_Private Sarasalanian Jet, Skies of Plit_

Luigi was extremely irritated by his current situation. Less than an hour after he had landed at Birabuto International, he was back up in the air, headed back to Toad Town. Fonté had insisted that they leave Sarasaland because it was too dangerous and they had to meet with Sarasalanian officials in Toad Town, but Luigi could not understand why Fonté did not simply go to the Mushroom Kingdom at first. Laki, who loved flying airplanes, did not seem to mind the second trip, but Starx had called Fonté a "capricious bureaucrat" who "cuts and runs whenever the slightest danger arose." Luigi had to agree.

It was well after midnight when they landed at Toad Town Airstrip, although the airport was still operating at full capacity. As the plane slowed to a halt, Fonté said to Luigi,

"I think it would be best if you led the way, Luigi, as you are the most familiar with the layout of Toad Town."

Luigi nodded in agreement and stepped out of the airplane and into the airport terminal, where he and his three companions were forced to go through security. Luigi had managed to dodge this particular nuisance earlier that day because he was going on a pre-arranged diplomatic flight. This time, however, he was not so lucky because, as the stiff Goomba security guard said,

"This in not a scheduled landing. Diplomat or not, I'm going to have to search you four."

Luigi was therefore forced to remove both his shoes and his satchel for inspection. The latter of these searches proved highly amusing because the security guard grew more and more frustrated as he pulled an endless supply of items from Luigi's bag without ever reaching the bottom. Luigi attempted to explain the nature of his special case to the very confused Goomba who, rather than fetching his supervisor to ask about proper procedure for enchanted satchels, simply waved them through without screening anyone else.

The four men stepped outside into the brisk night air characteristic of spring nights in the Mushroom Kingdom. The dark clouds that blanketed the sky earlier in the day had dispersed completely. Luigi looked up to see hundreds of bright, twinkling stars dotting the deep blue night sky. _Such a beautiful night; it is a shame that I will be spending it discussing politics with stuffy government folks. I bet that somewhere at sea, Mario is sleeping like a baby in a luxurious feather bed on a massive cruise ship,_ Luigi thought bitterly as he trudged through the empty streets of Toad Town towards Princess Peach's castle.

~*~*~*~

_Easton State Penitentiary, Easton, Sarasaland_

It took Mario several minutes to fully wake up and get his bearings. When he first opened his eyes, he could only see a fuzzy mass of gray, and his head was throbbing painfully. When his vision finally cleared, the plumber saw that he was in a small room with gray stone walls on three sides and a set of heavy, black, iron bars on the remaining side. After a few seconds of utter confusion, the previous day's events rushed back into his head: The _Toadstool_, the docks, the fight. Mario realized that he was in jail.

As Mario sat up, he took the time to more closely examine his surroundings. He had been lying on a small wooden bench that was draped with a thin white sheet and had a lumpy pillow on one end. A wooden desk on top of which a thin stack of paper and a ballpoint pen lay was crammed into one corner of the cell. Through the small hole in the wall about seven feet up, Mario could see a few stars twinkling on a dark blue backdrop, indicating that he had been unconscious all day long. Through the bars, Mario could see that he was in a cellblock of at least eight cells. Bo T. was scribbling something on a sheet of paper in the cell across from him while Toadsworth slept in the cell adjacent to Bo's. Mario could not see into any other cells. In the center of the cell block was a rotund Goomba wearing a police officer's hat and carrying a nightstick in a black leather belt that encompassed his waist. The jailer turned around and, spotting Mario, smiled and stepped over towards him, saying,

"Ah! You are awake at last! You're meal is here. It's a bit cold, I'm afraid; the government Easton is not inclined to splurge for prison microwaves. Gloomber doesn't think that common criminals deserve hot meals, I suppose. But you're no common criminal, Mr. Mario! No sir! Well, anyway, here's your food."

Mario's first though was that this Goomba was no ordinary jailer. He was pleasant, conversational, and, above all, seemingly sympathetic to those who were incarcerated. Perhaps it was simply because Mario was so famous and the Goomba felt that he could let his guard down, but the plumber had the idea that he was a genuinely nice man.

Goombas, of course, had no arms, but they did have their own special brand of telekinesis that allowed them to levitate objects just as if they were carrying them with physical hands. This was always something that fascinated Mario: Goombas were born armless, so nature compensated by giving them telekinesis. Evolution was quite a remarkable process.

The dish that the jailer handed Mario contained a bowl of thick broth with small scraps of meat and vegetables, a tall glass of milk, and a chunk of spongy white bread. _It's no gourmet meal_, Mario thought as he spooned the lukewarm broth into his mouth, _but it is filling_. The food was clearly designed to satiate the appetites of the prisoners with as small a portion as possible, which it did very well. When Mario had finished his dinner, he handed the plate back to the jolly Goomba and sat back down onto the bench. A few minutes later, Peach poked her head out of the bars of the cell on Mario's left and called out to him.

"Mario!"

"Peach! Are you OK?"

"I'm fine; Toadsworth kept me from harm during the fight. Which reminds me," Peach's face turned sharp and her eyebrows contracted. Suddenly, she exploded. "Mario! What on Plit were you thinking? Why would you attack a customs official? You got us in jail! You know what your problem is, Mario? You never think. You _never_ think about what you do before you do it! _This_ is why you always fall into pits and get crushed by Thwomps and get torched by Podoboos! You never plan ahead! Why do you think this kind of thing never happens to your brother? Because he thinks ahead! Luigi never runs blindly into danger! He _plans_ what he's going to do! This would've never happened if Luigi were here! He would've tried to negotiate before he started beating people up! But you! You didn't even try to be diplomatic! You're just…so…Arrrghh!!"

Everyone in the cell block was standing in stunned silence, dumbfounded as Peach kicked the jail cell's door. The fact that Princess Peach, who had never been known to utter a single unkind word about everyone, could explode like that towards the man who had saved so many times in the past was unthinkable. As soon as she completed her angry rant, however, Peach was swept away by a virtual tidal wave of remorse. _Mario did not deserve that. After all he's done for me, this is how I repay him? By screaming at him for making one little mistake?_ After a long, very uncomfortable silence, Peach finally spoke in a very quiet tone, tears running down her face:

"I- I'm sorry, Mario. I guess I'm just so…so frustrated about what's happened here, to my sister, that I unloaded my anger upon you. What I said…it was wrong…I'm so sorry…"

"No," Mario said miserably, hanging his head in shame. "It was all correct. You're right- this kind of thing doesn't happen to Luigi because Luigi actually does plan ahead. I needle him for being a scaredy-cat, but really, he is just being cautious. He _would've_ tried to negotiate; he _would've_ avoided this whole ugly mess. You're right, this is all my fault." Mario had never felt so bad in his life. Something about Peach's harsh words seemed to flood his mind with misery.

"Oh, lighten up," said the jailer, still smiling cheerfully. "The New Crown will not have an easy time holding the Mushroom Kingdom's monarch and premiere Superstar. An arrest of this magnitude is surely international news by now; I'm sure Mushroom officials will have you released in no time. There isn't a person on Plit who hasn't heard the Mario and Princess Peach have been arrested."

No sooner had these words left his mouth than several loud explosions from relatively close by rocked the foundation of the prison. The Goomba waddled over to the exit, poked his head outside the door, and gasped.

"Whoa! That looks like one of Bowser's Doomships! I think he's bombing the port!"

"Oh no! Bowser must have heard that you were being held here, Princess! He must be coming after you!" Toad chimed in.

"Sir!" Mario yelled to the Goomba. "Please, release us! I can fight off Bowser, but not if I'm still locked up! Unless he is stopped, his air raid will demolish the whole city and Peach will be his!"

The jailor, now sweating profusely, pondered Mario's proposition. _I can't just release a prisoner; I could get fired! On the other hand, a free-roaming Bowser is surely a much greater threat than Mario. Hmmm…_ When a bomb exploded just a few feet from the jail, causing the whole building to quake and part of the wall of the cellblock to collapse, the Goomba quickly made up his mind. He jogged over to Mario's cell as quickly as his stubby legs would allow and jammed his key in the prison door's lock.

~*~*~*~

_KDS Bowser, Skies of Plit_

Bowser and Kamek stood on the open-air deck of the _Bowser_ as the battleship sliced through the night sky. Like all Doomships, the _Bowser_ was made primarily of wood, but strategically placed iron sheets greatly reinforced the hull, making it nearly impossible to penetrate into the bowels of the ship with anything less than the most explosive Bullet Bills.

The main deck featured the three most important command controls of a Doomship: tactical, navigation, and communication. Each one had its own computer terminal and a technician working it. A Monty mole was at the helm, a Goomba listened in on the radio, and a Boo manned the weapons.

"Yo, navigator!" Bowser barked at the Mole. "How much longer until we arrive?"

"About five minutes, Sire."

"Hey! I've got an update here!" cried the Goomba at communications. "The Princess is currently being held at the Easton State Penitentiary."

"Adjusting course," said the Mole, turning the wooden steering wheel to the left about twenty degrees. In response to the news that they were approaching the location of his coveted princess, Bowser emitted a loud, booming laugh that Kamek was sure could be heard for miles. He then tapped the intercom button on the arm of his captain's chair and said,

"General Thorn, get up here now! We're about to disembark!" Thirty seconds later, a purple Oerlikon walked onto the deck. Thorn, like most members of his species (and Spikesters in general) wore a mask over his face and thick, padded gloves on his hands to protect them from harm while using the enormous spikes that protruded from his head in battle. Thorn was known for relentlessly bombarding his enemies with his spikes, although his aim was somewhat lacking. Thorn's voice was scratchy and rasping and sounded, at least to Bowser, like a paper shedder into which someone fed a sheet of plate glass. The common theory was that one of Thorn's needles got lodged in his throat once and tore through his voice box, but no one could say for sure. Thorn was not a very talkative person and he absolutely hated idle chat.

"Lord Bowser," Thorn said in his usual scratchy voice. "My men are ready to depart at-" Thorn was cut off by a muffled voice that came over the _Bowser_'s radio,

"Attention unidentified Doomship: you have entered the restricted airspace of The New Crown of Sarasaland. Please land your vessel at the Easton National Airport at once. Upon landing, please note that your aircraft will be subject to searching."

Bowser snorted with laughter at the air traffic controller's orders. "Those losers think that they can force _me_, the great King Bowser, to submit to a search? Don't listen to him, helmsman. Just get me to Princess Peach!"

After a few seconds, the voice came over the radio again: "If you fail to comply with my previous directive, your aircraft will be fired upon. Please change course and land at the airport at once." Bowser yet again brushed off the orders. True to their word, The New Crowns charged with defending Sarasalanian skies began to fire on the _Bowser_. Several rocket-propelled Bob-Ombs exploded on contact with the hull, sending wooden shards falling to the ground below. The Doomship was rocked by the explosions of the artillery but suffered no sever damage. Bowser roared and yelled at the Boo behind the weapons controls,

"Fire! Fire! Don't stop until either they surrender or the whole cit is leveled! Whichever comes first!"

Bullet Bills rained down upon the Port of Easton, leveling buildings as the artillery below fired up at the _Bowser_. Soon after the air raid began, the Boo turned to Bowser and said,

"Lord Bowser! The Banzai Bill is ready to fire!"

Banzai Bills were huge Bullet Bills that could raze an entire city block in one blast. Because of their enormous size and high yield, an immense amount of power was required to fire one. The explosive force of the massive Bullet Bill being launched rocked the ship as much as the fire from the anti-aircraft guns below did. The Banzai Bill powered towards the docks below, sending the soldiers scrambling for their lives. The missile impacted the docks and exploded into an enormous fireball that engulfed the whole port. Debris was launched everywhere as buildings burst into flame and cargo ships were literally blasted out of the water. On the deck of the _Bowser_, Bowser clapped his hands and guffawed approvingly as he watched the destruction below.

"Alright, now, disembark!" Bowser ordered. Doomships, unlike other aircraft, only touched the ground while they were under construction. Normally, they were either held in place by midair docks or, if none were present, they could simply hover under their own power. To exit a Doomship that was hovering in midair, one simply needed to climb down the metal anchors that descended from the ship's underbelly. A hundred or so soldiers on board the _Bowser_ began to climb down the iron chains of the anchors, while Bowser himself opted to leap over the main deck's guardrail. Bowser's landing caused a small earthquake while leaving the King of Koopas completely unharmed. Kamek, who lacked both the physical prowess necessary to climb down an anchor and the hardiness to fall one hundred feet and land unhurt, teleported himself to the ground by magic.

"Alright, men! Move out!" Bowser ordered. "Kamek! You and I will grab Peach from the jail. Bwahahaha! There's no way we can lose now!"

Kamek rolled his eyes at the Koopa's overconfidence while he ran after him to the Easton State Penitentiary. Bowser charged through the hole in the wall created just seconds earlier into the jail. Mario, Princess Peach, and six other Toads that Bowser didn't really care about stood behind the bars. The jailer had backed up against the far wall, his eyes wide with fear. Bowser cackled and stomped in front of Mario's cell to gloat.

"Bwahahaha!! If it isn't Mario, all locked up! Can't do much to stop me in there, can ya? Princess!" he bellowed, turning to Peach. "You, m'lady, are coming with me! Don't worry, beautiful, I'll bust you outta this dump, and you'll be mine at last!"

Peach yelled something at Bowser, but Kamek wasn't listening. He was discreetly watching Mario who, not being terribly adept at hiding his feelings, was allowing a small smile to spread across his face. _Something's wrong…normally, he would be scowling and trying in vain to break down the cell door_. Kamek then noticed that the cell door was slightly ajar and realized that Mario was about to get the better of them both.

"Lord Bowser!" he yelled, but before he could deliver his warning, Mario kicked open the iron door. The door smashed into the side of Bowser's head with a force that would surely have knocked out any normal man. Bowser's incredibly thick skull survived the blow, however, and the monstrous Koopa suffered only a long gash down his temple. Bowser roared furiously as Mario drop kicked his head, causing the wound to widen even more. At the same moment, the seven other occupants of the cellblock barreled through their doors and charged at Bowser and Kamek, even the elderly Toadsworth. Toad jumped onto Kamek's back, emitting a bizarre sort of war cry. Whether Toad was attempting to gouge out his eyes or give him a big hug, Kamek could not tell. He threw Toad off his back, whirled around, and fired a lightning spell from his wand. Toad's body convulsed as the bolt hit him squarely in the chest, sending white-hot electricity through every cell in his body. The electricity was channeled from his body into the stone floor, leaving Toad gasping for breath with a large black burn on his chest. While Kamek had his back turned, the Goomba drove his nightstick into the base of his neck. Even before he hit the ground, however, Kamek began channeling warm healing magic to the source of the pain. By the time he hit the ground, Kamek had sufficiently suppressed the pain so that he could continue to fight. As he stood up to engulf the Goomba in a fireball, Toadsworth used his crooked staff to whack him on the head with a surprising amount of force for such an elderly Mushroomer. When Kamek fell this second time, Toadsworth and the Goomba began to bludgeon the Magikoopa with their respective weapons. Their blows came in so quickly that Kamek's healing magic finally ran dry and he was unable to retaliate.

Meanwhile, Mario, Peach, and three other Toads had backed Bowser into a cell and were repeatedly pummeling him with their fists. Bowser managed to body slam all five of them at once, knocking them back at least ten feet. Before Bowser could strike again, however, Mario slammed the cell door shut, instantly locking it.

"C'mon guys, let's get out of here!" Mario shouted over the commotion. He knew that locking Bowser up would only prove to be a temporary distraction; the Koopa's two-ton frame would make quick work of the iron bars. No sooner had the crew of the _Toadstool_ and the Goomba stepped over the prone and bloody body of Kamek than they heard the almighty _crash_ of the cell door being broken down, or, more appropriately, obliterated by Bowser's massive body. As Bowser stomped out of the cell the team of nine dashed out through the hole in the jail wall. The battle between Bowser's forces and the New Crown was raging furiously, as was the weather. The thick clouds that had earlier oppressed the Mushroom Kingdom had floated over to Easton, bringing with them dense fog and thick sheets of rain. Had it not been for the fires set by the Bob-Ombs that continued to fall from the _Bowser_ and the bright pulses of Super Scopes, it would have been pitch black outside.

"WHERE'S THE _TOADSTOOL_?" Mario screamed, trying to make himself heard over the loud thunderclaps, the screams of soldiers, and the falling artillery.

"TO THE WEST OF HERE," the Goomba yelled in reply, "WHICH IS…UH…THAT WAY!" he continued, pointing to the right with his nightstick. They ran through the downpour, avoiding falling Bob-Ombs and Super Scope blasts. Mario could barely tell what was going on as he ran; everything around him became a blur of color and sound. When he finally reached the docks, he skidded to a halt, staring up in shock. Brilliant orange flames spilled from the aft section of the _Toadstool_, its starboard hull completely destroyed.

"MARIO! THERE YOU ARE!" Bowser, Kamek, and a small squad of Koopas surrounded them on the pier.

~*~*~*~

_Royal Palace, Birabuto, Sarasaland_

"This'll never work, Das."

"Yes! It will! It has to!"

"Do you really think you'll win? You're pathetic, Das. You never amounted to anything back in Easton, and you'll never amount to anything here."

"Shut up! Just shut up! All of you!"

"Mr. Das! Sir! Wake up, sir!"

Das's eyes snapped open. He was staring up at the ceiling of what used to be Princess Daisy's bedroom. Das slowly sat up, tossing the velvety orange covers aside. Admiral Fuse, the New Crown's second-in-command, was leaning over Das's bed. Fuse was a massive purple Bob-ulk with orange shoes and an orange wind-up key that, Das could not help noticing, matched the palace's décor perfectly. Fuse, never one to waste any time, launched into a full report at once.

"Sorry to wake you, sir, but we have an emergency situation. The Port of Easton has been attacked by Bowser's army!"

Das nearly fell out of bed. Of all the bad things that could have happened, this was the worst. Bowser's army was the most powerful and the most ruthless on all of Plit.

"No doubt he is after Princess Peach?"

"I would presume so, sir, but reports are still sketchy.

"What time is it?"

"2:45, sir. The assault began about ten minutes ago. Reinforcements have been sent, but this weather will likely slow them down."

Das sighed deeply. "All right, Admiral, keep me posted."

"Understood, sir."

~*~*~*~

_Peach's Castle, Toad Town, Mushroom Kingdom_

Luigi, Laki, Fonté, Starx, and several other Mushroom government officials stood over a computer in the Foreign Relations Center of Peach's Castle. A blue-spotted Toad with large, round glasses was typing feverishly while Fonté and his Mushroom Kingdom counterpart, Tellerintz, discussed the growing crisis.

Tellerintz was a Venus Fire Trap who wheeled himself around in an automated Warp Pipe. Most Piranha Plants simply walked on their roots to move, but Tellerintz's roots had permanently shriveled. When he was still a diplomat, he was sent on a diplomatic mission to help negotiate a trade agreement with the Waffle Kingdom. His plane's engine, however, blew out mid-flight, and the plane crash-landed into the Gritzy Desert. Tellerintz was stranded for nearly four days before a rescue team could reach him, by which time his roots had already dried out.

Six years later, Tellerintz was selected to be the Mushroom Kingdom's foreign minister. His diplomatic record was exceptional, especially when dealing with the Beanbean Kingdom. The Mushroom Kingdom's easterly neighbor was a perennial thorn in its side, but Tellerintz, with his aggressive and pugnacious attitude, was always able to keep the Beans in check.

"How's it going?" Fonté asked the Toad at the computer.

"Pretty good. I've been able to ascertain that they didn't get the money from anywhere inside Sarasaland; their paper trail indicates foreign subsidization." They were attempting to determine the source of the New Crown's funding. Doing so, Fonté had explained, would give them a better idea of what resources the New Crown had. Luigi took advantage of the gap in conversation to ask Fonté a question that had been troubling him since he first received the letter.

"Minister, I was wondering: why did you send specifically for me? Most people ask for Mario in times of crisis."

"You see, Luigi, I would normally have called on your brother first. But, in this situation, I feared that Mario's presence might have attracted King Bowser, something I wish to avoid at all costs."

Luigi felt as if he had fallen off a very high cloud. Ever since his adventure began, he had entertained the notion that Fonté had called on Luigi because he thought that Luigi would be better able to handle the crisis than Mario would. Luigi had taken smug satisfaction in the idea that he could do something of great importance that Mario could not. Instead, he was simply an acceptable substitute for his brother. Luigi could feel his face fill with hot, angry blood. _Ordinarily, he would have chosen Mario because Mario's the superstar! Mario's the better brother! I was just used because I was more convenient!_

"I've got it!" the Toad behind the computer bounced up and down excitedly. "It seems that a deposit of 50,000 coins was wired to the New Crown of Sarasaland by the Beanbean National Bank."

The Toad's discovery stunned the whole room into silence. The Beanbean National Bank was owned and operated by the Beanbean government, which meant that they wanted the New Crown rebellion to be successful. Tellerintz spat a fireball onto the ground, burning a small hole in the carpet.

"Those Beans are at it again!" Tellerintz snarled, spitting another fireball that narrowly missed Luigi's arm. "They're always stirring up trouble! Sorry, Luigi."

At that moment, a Buster Beetle dashed into the room and ran up to the group huddled around the computer.

"Minister Tellerintz! King Bowser has attacked the Port of Easton! The battle apparently began about thirty minutes ago, 2:30 Easton time! Bowser's army and the New Crown are still fighting."

Starx kicked the Toad's desk. "We can't allow the Koopas to take that port. Someone contact Chai! The troops stationed there can be at the port within an hour."

"You can't dispatch the Sarasalanian army to help the New Crown!" Fonté protested.

"I'm the Secretary of War, Fonté, not you! We can't let Bowser capture that port. Once the attack is repulsed, our army can turn its attention to the New Crown and force them out. We're not helping them, we're providing backup to serve our own interests!"


	5. Chapter Five: The King of the Beans

Chapter Five: The King of the Beans

_Beanbean Castle, Beanbean Kingdom_

Lady Lima pushed open the ornate Chucklewood doors and stepped onto the lime green shag rug that led to King Peasley's throne. The former prince had ascended to the throne just over a year ago when his mother, Queen Bean, succumbed to a bout of Mushroom Fever. Queen Bean contracted the fatal illness just after the Mario Bros. saved the Beanbean Kingdom from the evil witch Cackletta, and so Peasley was convinced that they had infected his mother. In fact, the Mario Bros.' actions changed Peasley's disposition. The once-haughty prince was furious that a couple of outsiders had swept in onto his turf and were recognized as heroes for it. How could the Beanbean people hold a couple of foreigners in higher esteem than their own prince?

Peasley was already furious with the Mushroomers for stealing his thunder when his mother fell ill. Her death only intensified his hatred of the Mario Bros. and Mushroomers in general. Over the past year, Peasley had systematically obliterated diplomatic relations with the Mushroom Kingdom. He started with new exorbitant tariffs on all exports to the Mushroom Kingdom, which nearly caused a riot in Rogueport. To his delight, Peasley had received hundreds of furious letters from Mushroom merchants who couldn't afford to pay the taxes on Beanbean imports. Peasley's latest act was to reassert his claim on Little Fungitown, a Mushroom village north of Teehee Valley. Despite protests from his advisors, including Lady Lima, Peasley dispatched the military to run the Mushroomers off their land. For a month afterwards, the hot-tempered Tellerintz howled for war to be declared on the Beans.

Perhaps the most disturbing change to Peasley was to his personality. He used to be rather arrogant and self-absorbed, but was still a good person. Now, it seemed that he was in a constant state of rage that could only be placated by spiting the Mushroom Kingdom. His once-neat, golden hair was now shaggy, unkempt, and dirty. He no longer flashed a brilliantly bright smile; he only scowled. Where he used to strut pompously, he now stomped furiously. Peasley had lost his cheerful disposition and was now angry all the time.

Lady Lima approached Peasley's throne with a grim look on her face. She had been a close friend of Queen Bean, and to see the son of one of the greatest monarchs in Beanbean history assume power and turn into this was almost too much to bear. She despised Peasley, but he was her king, and she had pledged her loyalty to the Crown forever.

"Your Majesty, Minister Tellerintz is demanding to speak to you at once."

Peasley looked up from the book he was reading. "What's that crippled son-of-a-Bean want now?"

Privately, Lady Lima agreed with Peasley's analysis of the Mushroom Foreign Minister, but right now, she was angrier with Peasley than she had ever been at Tellerintz. "He knows that we supplied the New Crown, and he is not happy!"

"WHAT!?" Peasley roared, jumping up from his throne. Screaming an assortment of obscenities, the Bean unsheathed the rapier on his belt and slashed at his seat of power. The sword tore through the soft fabric of the chair, which expelled its fluffy contents onto the floor. "How on Plit could he possibly have found out?"

"He found out," Lima yelled back, "because _you_ were sloppy! I told you it would not be wise to channel funds directly to Das, that it would be too easy to trace, but you did not listen! You did not-"

"SHUT UP, YOU OLD HAG!" Peasley shouted back, sending small globs of spittle halfway across the room. "I've had enough of your challenges to my authority. _I_ am the king, which means _I_ decide how things are run! Now stand aside! _I_ will deal with Tellerintz!"

Peasley marched out of the throne room, and Lima, now positively seething, followed. In the communications room, a furry little Tanoomba showed Peasley to a video screen from which Tellerintz was staring. As soon as Peasley stepped into view, the Venus Fire Trap started to shout at him.

"There you are, you little rat! You've really done it now, Peasley; we know you funded the New Crown! Their little rebellion landed nine of our citizens in jail, and I'm holding you responsible!"

"And what are you going to do about it?" Peasley sneered.

"I'm going to make sure war is declared! It should've happened after Little Fungitown, but better late than never!"

"I really don't have time for your idle threats, Tellerintz. I've got work to do. Goodbye." Before Tellerintz could respond, Peasley cut short the transmission and turned to Lady Lima. "I'm not going to take this anymore. Get our troops ready for battle on the double. I want them across Stardust Fields by morning!"

"Are you out of your mind!?" Lima spluttered in protest. "We're in no shape for war, especially after handing out all that money!"

"Lima, I'm getting sick of your insubordination! Must I remind you once more who's in charge around here? Now get our troops moving immediately!"

With that, the king of the Beans turned around and slammed the doors to the throne room. Above these doors hung the Beanbean emblem, a bright green lima bean wrapped up in snakelike vines. Below that in fancy lettering was the Beanbean motto, which summarized the incredible importance that the Beans placed on their monarchy:

Without a clear head, the body cannot survive

When Peasley slammed the door, the plaque tumbled to the ground and shattered.


End file.
